Browsing the April edition of the St Aidan's Church Magazine in Hellifield, North Yorkshire, I came across the following anonymous story which caused me some considerable amusement. I couldn't resist the temptation to share it:
A preacher was coming to the end of a temperance sermon. With great expression he proclaimed: 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.'
With even greater emphasis he declared: 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.'
Then finally he thundered: 'And if I had all the whisky in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.'
He sat down impressively.
The song leader then rose very cautiously and announced: 'For our closing hymn let us sing number 365: "Shall we Gather at the River?" '
